Sep 28 2010

Do you see how all that I allow comes from my benevolent heart?

Dear friends, this message from the archives (July 2006) speaks very strongly to our times. I felt led to re-run it.

Sirach 11:14 Good and evil, life and death, poverty and riches, are from the LORD.

“My beloved little child, do you see how all that I allow comes from my benevolent heart? For even if evil befalls you, and your prayers seem to dissipate in the abyss, even then the Lord is near―so near―to one who places her trust in him. What the evil one means for your destruction, I use to bring about great works of goodness and growth in holiness. My child, whether you live in suffering or comfort, riches or poverty, give thanks to the Lord always, for his love for you will never fail.”

My Jesus, I praise and thank you through the Immaculate Heart of the Blessed Mother for all you have given me. My Lord and my God, grant me the grace through Mary to become the willing slave of Jesus in Mary for your glory, O heavenly Father. Amen.

28 responses so far

28 Responses to “Do you see how all that I allow comes from my benevolent heart?”

  1. Kathy Andre-Eameson 28 Sep 2010 at 11:11 pm

    Back on Sunday, FEB. 28, 2010 I’ve discovered a most wonderful little book on contemplation in our parish library: INTO THE SILENT LAND by Martin Laird, OSA. I wrote some reflections then. They seem so appropo now, as we wait, sometimes confused by those who surround us, by the evil escalating everywhere, and by the numerous prophecies . I wrote the following:
    Chapter One, “Parting the Veil” –

    p. 16, “When the mind is brought to stillness, and all our strategies of acquisition have dropped, a deeper truth presents itself: we are and have always been one with God and we are all one in God (Jn 17:21). The marvelous world of thoughts, sensation, emotions, and inspiration, the spectacular world of creation around us, are all patterns of stunning weather on the holy mountain of God. BUT WE ARE NOT THE WEATHER. WE ARE THE MOUNTAIN. Weather is happening–delightful sunshine, dull sky, or destructive storm–this is undeniable. But if we think we are the weather happening on Mount Zion (and most of us do precisely this with our attention riveted to the video that constantly runs in our minds), then the fundamental truth of our union with God remains obscured and our sense of painful alienation heightened …

    For a lifetime we have taken this weather–our thoughts and feelings–to be ourselves….Stillness reveals that we are the silent, vast awareness in which the video [of the weather] is playing.”

    In prayer, don’t let the distractions lead you away from the truth: we are in Him and He is in us. Our deepest self is the “hidden self” that St. Paul speaks of, as we are hidden in the “self-emptying of God in Christ.”

    On p. 14: “One need not have journeyed too far into this silent land to realize that the so-called psychological self, our personality…is a cognitive construct pasted up out of thoughts and feelings. …But our deepest identity, in which thoughts and feelings appear like patterns of weather on Mount Zion (Ps 125), remains forever immersed in the silence of God.”…in Him we live and move and have our being,” in whom our very self is immersed.”

    p. 15: “Because God is the ground of our being, the relationship between creature and Creator is such that, by sheer grace, separation is not possible. God does not know how to be absent…. This illusion of separation is generated by the mind and is sustained by the riveting of our attention to the interior soap opera, the constant chatter of the cocktail party going on in our heads.”

    We do not, therefore, “acquire” Union with the God we love; we discover it, enter into it in the silence of our hidden selves. He is always there, waiting in love and desire.
    This is such a comfort to me, that racket (weather) that surrounds me, inside and outside, is not the Holy Mountain where Jesus is ever present in His Holy Temple–ME! Let the rain blow in our faces! Let the wind howl! Let the lightning flash and the thunder roar! We rest on the Hearts of our beloved Lord and precious Mother! “All is well and all will be very well.” (Juliana of Norwich)

  2. pelianitoon 29 Sep 2010 at 6:49 am

    Excellent reflections Kathy!

    It reminds me of St. Theresa’s “Interior Castle”. Speaking of which, one of our modern experts on contemplative prayer has gone to his reward–Fr. Thomas Dubay. May he continue to teach us all in the way of holy union with God, and may his soul and the souls of all the faithful departed through the mercy of God rest in peace.

  3. Marianneon 29 Sep 2010 at 7:43 am

    Peli – I can’t thank you enough for reposting this today. It is a direct hit for me and I thank Jesus for prompting you to repost. You see, what Jesus said in your last post about the devil knowing what buttons to push has dramatically played out for me in the last two days.

    I have had debilitating anxiety over being faithful to the Church’s position on birth control. Practicing NFP is not a joyful, peaceful method for me as it should be because I am in my 40′s and it is much harder to practice at this age. The chances of having a baby during perimenopause are greater, and the devil knows this. So he is playing on my fear of having a baby late in life, telling me that this would be a horrible burden and an embarrassment. I just lost a baby in Feb, so to go through that again would be more than I think I can bear. The devil has sent me into a spiral of anxiety and fear and a total lack of trust in God’s providence.

    I just, this morning, said to my husband that I felt forsaken by God. Why is he giving me these fears and paralyzing anxiety when I am being faithful to Him, life, and the Church. Everyone around me is taking the easy way out with the pill, yet, I am being faithful. Why, then, the pain? He sees my efforts to be loyal to Him and attentive to my husband, yet I feel like he is not hearing my prayers and has abandoned me. Just like many here, I walk through my day wondering how many would think I am out of my mind if I told them these struggles? Their response would be, “the Church has to get with the program on BC. It’s so much easier this way” Again, the devil pushing buttons.

    I ask you all to pray for me that my trust grows. I keep saying “Jesus, I trust in you,” and begging “Jesus, deepen my trust,” but when you are gripped by fear, they seem like empty words.

  4. mariuson 29 Sep 2010 at 10:33 am

    Comforting message for me.

  5. pelianitoon 29 Sep 2010 at 12:48 pm

    Marianne remember that what you feel is not what is important, but how you act. That is how you slay the monster–by an act of the will. God be with you dear sister.

  6. pelianitoon 29 Sep 2010 at 12:49 pm

    Marius, good to hear from you! You are in my prayers.

    I felt very strongly that I was supposed to re-post that message. These two comments confirm it. Thank you Jesus.

  7. Amyon 29 Sep 2010 at 1:39 pm

    BC only seems like the easy way out. Imagine how many people are going to feel when they finally accept the truth about BC. My husband and I were so grieved when after six years on the pill, we learned that it can cause a fertilized egg to be unable to attach. Life begins at conception after all and we know we could have been the cause of the death of our own babies. I have 2 kids with autism and a two year old daughter who wouldn’t be here had we not changed course. She has healed me in so many ways. She is our only child that can tell us “I love you” and I can’t imagine how sad I might still be if where she stands now continued to be a void. God LOVES you and only allows things for your benefit. Beleive me, I understand your fears. Don’t give in. Perfect love casts out all fear. I struggle too but, we can’t let anything take our crown! I will pray for you.

  8. Laura Q.on 29 Sep 2010 at 1:48 pm

    Marianne! Please read this! I HATED NFP too! Since it never worked for me—but after 2 surprise pregnancies (super glad they happened NOW though :) I HAD to find a better way—-So too was I angry with God, for trying to live holy, but NFP wasn’t “working” for me…. So low and behold, after so desperately searching and PRAYING for a MIRACLE, God gave me one—– It’s a TOTALLY Natural Device from Germany called the LADYCOMP (or BabyComp)–and IT WORKS (99.3% accuracy on the pearl scale) And Dont worry Peli, it’s Church approved, since all it does is take your temperature each morning before you get up. It has an integrated database of over 70,000 woman’s cycles, and uses them to calculate your fertility for that day. After about a year on it, I’ve pretty much come to rely solely on this computer, and not on my old (Creighton Model) method of NFP—– And No, I am not some spokesperson for LadyComp—But I am DESPERATE to get this out to as many people (catholic or not) since its so great–and would you believe it, but its been hiding over there from the US in Europe for over 17 years! I bought it from and they are awesome with support. You can go to their site here and yes, it’s a little pricey around 500$, but that’s all you pay, forever! and they have some built in warranty or something. I think I spent much more than that on all those NFP classes. Good Luck! And please check it out–I have heard nothing but good things about it..I told my doctor the other day (he rolls his eyes) but then I get a little angry, and really lay it out for him, telling him women NEED a healthy option these days–not just some cancer pill or cave-man techniques (that’s what I called the old NFP :) Sorry to rant everyone, but I feel this is something that woman deserve to know about everywhere–so don’t be shy in spreading it around…Thanks—Laura

  9. Jeanon 29 Sep 2010 at 3:41 pm

    Marianne, I think you will find that you will wake up one morning and the fear will be gone. I too have been going through a lot in my struggles to remain faithful and fear often overtakes me. But, I have found that God eventually takes away the fear and gives me strength to do His Will. This message today spoke directly to me in a particular situation that has reduced me, to say the least. It is beautiful to hear God remind me that, however evil it is, it will be used for my good in the end. That is exactly what I have been telling myself lately, that God always brings good out of evil and I was content with that. This message affirms it and comforts me. I will add, that I do much better when I attend daily Mass and Adoration. When life gets in the way and I fall away from these, the internal fears rise and the struggle is beyond me. Please do not underestimate your need for the daily Eucharist.

  10. anneon 29 Sep 2010 at 6:23 pm

    Thank you Pel, a wonderful message for now. AND Kathy, thank you so much for sharing such uplifting Truthfilled reflections. Marianne i agree with all that Jean says.
    i fell upon a Father Corapi video the other day. Entitled FEAR is USELESS and you can watch it on internet. i just googled Father Corapi videos. REALLY worth watching.
    i truly believe the LORD is drawing us away from the other KINGDOM of darkness in which FEAR is a major part. Fear and insecurity drive people because it is the devil driving. I know!!
    In the Kingdom of LIGHT which the LORD is calling is faith, trust, abandonment and so much light for vision.
    the other day i had a strong realization concerning the little ones who are following Jesus and consecrated to the Hearts of Jesus and Mary.
    We are with Mary in the desert labouring alongside of Her. Labouring to bring about the birth of Jesus in souls, the New Era of Divine Will. The dragon pursues Her and so he pursues us. He is threatening us, intimidating us and bullying us the best way he can because he is desperate as the birth is well advanced. Hence the pains{attacks} are increasing and he hurls fear, doubt, shock attacks at us. so it is a privilege to be asked to labour with Mary. praise you Jesus that You have asked the little ones on this blog to participate in all of this and thank You Lord that You have poured out so much grace that they have responded. I had a 24 hour labour to give birth to my son LUKE{ light}. i laboured ALL of st Lukes day and gave birth early hours of the next day. My doctor literally went home on me, i had nothing but a little gas when it was too late and at the last moment an excellent doctor came in and used Keelon forceps. yes, horrendously painful but BIRTH. NEW LIFE. we are doing the same spiritually. i was supported by hours of prayer from Carmelite sisters. we are supported by our prayers and those of others.
    the New Era is coming everyone. The Light is being drawn down through our prayers, sacrifices, suffering. As we pray for souls, we too are being drawn away from darkness to Light. We are choosing the Kingdom of Light and saying we want no more of the Kingdom of Darkness. We are children of LIght. Claim our inheritence. We have a bright future.!!!

  11. Sr. Lorraineon 29 Sep 2010 at 6:28 pm

    If Laura’s suggested help works, that’s good. But the Creighton model has been improved and is quite reliable. It’s now called NaPro Technology and is good for women with irregular cycles, etc.
    You can google it and it will come up.

  12. Laura Q.on 29 Sep 2010 at 7:20 pm

    I thought I might have found some NFP users on this site, but YES Sr. Lorraine, I have the newest version etc. My mother in-law is a teacher, and I had 2 different teachers over the course of 4 years, but after using this method, I’ve just realized it may not work for everyone. And one thing they DON’T tell you in the course, is that your body may not act like they say it will, which mine doesn’t really “follow” their guidelines etc. I have other friends who have had similar experiences with it and don’t like it either… I just HAVE to point out here, that Creighton, or any other, may not work for everyone! So please don’t say to everyone that it will work —since for me and others I know it doesn’t. I love all you guys so much, and sorry for being curt here, but let me tell you, after 2 babies unplanned IN A ROW, I was NOT going to let anyone tell me what I should or shouldn’t do (besides go against Church!) And I know my research paid off for me, I just want others who are scared like I was to have some piece of mind that they have other options. LADYCOMP! It’s been in use for over 17 years (25 I think) And if a newer version comes out they upgrade for free I think…and NO, it’s not just BBT (I can go on if anyone is interested lol :)) K–plz no one hate me here! This is my spiritual family too! TY—–Laura

  13. pelianitoon 29 Sep 2010 at 7:46 pm

    Laura, no one here hates you! You have found something that works for you that is in line with Church teaching. I thank you for sharing your experience so openly. If anyone would like to know what the church teaches on the regulation of births, please see the Catechism beginning at 2366.

  14. Rosemaryon 30 Sep 2010 at 5:38 am


    I was at a funeral of a father of my friend last month. He had eleven children and was a devout Catholic father to his children. During Mass his many grandchildren stood up and each one put a rose near the altar. I understood then that if Charlie and his wife had not been open to life, none of these children (each with a unique mission), grandchildren, and many, many down the line would ever be here walking towards the altar…and what is vastly more important is that these souls would not share eternal life and give glory to God because they were never created. Peli, of course we know that life begins at conception–and my heart breaks for those who are aborted and for those who bring about abortion….but the souls of the aborted will share eternity with God and of course, so will the repentant ones who bring it about. But think also, of the particular gravity when we are closed in the act of procreation to the will of God…that soul desired by God will never exist. Forgive us, dear God.

  15. pelianitoon 30 Sep 2010 at 7:22 am

    Rosemary that is a good point and one I that has come to me as well. What does God desire above all? To fill heaven with souls! In this light, artificial contraception is a worse evil than abortion. I read a quote from St. Bernard that said the numbers of those who go to heaven are filling in the ranks of the fallen angels. Once the number has been completed, the end will come. I have not found this in the catechism, but it sheds a new light on the battle taking place on this earth. No wonder the evil one is intent on making sure we do not have children, and do not raise them in the faith! The more people that make it to heaven, the sooner the end comes for his time on earth. God forgive me for not being open to life when I had the chance. Penance! Penance! Penance!

  16. Laura S.on 30 Sep 2010 at 7:22 am

    Marianne ,

    Let me share with you a different perspective….I conceived my son on the night I celebrated my 40th birthday with the man I was involved with at that time. I am sorry to say that I was living a life that was very unpleasing to the Lord at the time, and was not using any birth control. My son was conceived and born out of wedlock.

    I too was very frightened about being alone and pregnant at that age, but I see now in retrospect how my son was really a gift of salvation from God. This child also brought home the spark that lit the fire of my conversion and journey back home to my catholic faith from his kindergarten class in our Catholic School. While not an easy journey, and a heavy cross to bear as a single mom, the blessings and the graces are bountiful.

    I had an epiphany earlier this year when I enrolled my son in Big Brothers/Big Sisters (a little late…he was 11 and ½). I prayed to God about this and asked Him, who had picked St. Joseph from all the men on earth to be the foster father of His son Jesus, to pick the perfect Big Brother for Kevin… a man of faith who would be an example to him. I also prayed to St. Joseph to assist in this search. On the application I had requested a man of the Catholic faith. We waited but no men of the Catholic faith applied to be a Big Brother. About 3 months later, I received a call from the coordinator asking if I would relax my religion requirement…they had a few men in training but they either had no religion or were of a different faith. I don’t remember actually if I said okay during that phone call or whether I prayed about it first and then called her back. But I did say in my heart “Jesus, I place my trust in You in this that your Will be done” and I gave her permission to remove the Catholic faith requirement.

    We were assigned a man close to my age (he was 51), successful in business… a VP of Sales for an international company and a man who had no religion. It was after meeting him with my son and agreeing to him being my son’s big brother that I had the realization that I had been asking God for His Will to be done in this but I was restricting Him in how I wanted Him to do it. I realized that maybe, just maybe, God picked my son, Kevin, to be his big brother’s “little” to teach him about God . . . to be a little light in his world, and maybe part of our relationship with him was to pray for him. He was everything that I would not have picked if I had the choice, but I knew that God had a plan and a purpose and need us to say “yes”.

    So while everything that everyone has already said about fear and what the evil one uses to try to distract us from God, know that God is also waiting for our permission to do what He wants to do in our lives. As Pelianito has said before, God gives us the grace and all we need to do the mission He puts before us. As I told my son this morning as we were discussing some major disappointments and hurts left over from yesterday and last night, if we offer back to God what the evil one is trying to use to distract us (in this case your fear of becoming pregnant) for the salvation of souls, the evil one will stop, because he hates to be used to save souls for Jesus.

    God knows your heart Marianne, He knows your fears and your desires… He will never forsake you and will always, always use anything that comes from evil for the good of your soul and for your salvation or the salvation of others. Offer your fear to Him and ask Him to use it for those most in need, and He will, and in turn He will also give you peace over this as well. And if you can, offer Him your permission to do what He desires in this matter…that truly, His Will be done. It is so very much a journey of faith and trust.

    God bless you Marianne…. I know your fears well, but I also know the blessings I have received by saying yes to the gift of life and love that the Lord wanted to give me, even amongst the swords that have pierced my heart too along this way of the cross of single motherhood.

  17. Amyon 30 Sep 2010 at 7:30 am

    I agree completely. I think it is so important to be at least open to life. That is the reason that NFP is accepted in our faith, because there is still the possibility of the transmission of life. My mother is the sixth child of twelve. If my grandparents had only had 3 or 4 children, I wouldn’t be here, my three living children, my nephew and my niece that is due in October. I owe everything to my grandparents who were open to life. They lived on a farm and were definitely not wealthy but, they were still OPEN. After years of denying our Lord the creative power with my marriage, I want to truly change this mindset of fear within myself. Children are a blessing from God, a reward!

  18. doanlion 30 Sep 2010 at 7:47 am

    I felt compelled to and “baptized” the baby I lost in 2001 through a miscarriage.

    I don’t know if this is possible—I just want to make sure my child, and any other children I should have had, are in Heaven enjoying the Beatific Vision.

  19. Marianneon 30 Sep 2010 at 7:49 am

    Thank you to everyone who wrote in to help me. This blog and all of you are such a blessing!!

    Laura, thank you, in particular, for your recommendation of Ladycomp. I will look into it and pray that Mary lead me in the right direction. It was Mary who converted me and my husband away from BC, and she did it quickly. What makes it more miraculous is that my husband isn’t even Catholic and was very much in favor of BC when we married. He viewed it as our taking responsibility to give our all to just a few children rather than overextend to many children. I didn’t care either way because I was raised in a Catholic home that believed in BC!! Now, we are committed to doing God’s will and I owe it all to the Blessed Mother. I know she is with me through all of this. It is just difficult for me because Satan knows what sends me away from that peaceful trust of our Lord’s wishes. You all are such a wonderful source of strength, so thank you!!

    Jean – thank you, also, for reminding me that when I go to Mass and Adoration, the fear does seem to dissipate. I am on my way to Adoration now and will pray for everyone’s intentions.

    Lazarus, I’ve been meaning to tell you that I have remembered you in my prayers and will also pray for you in Adoration. Your last post was very touching and I can relate with many of the things you have written.

  20. Ann Maryon 30 Sep 2010 at 8:03 am

    Thank you for this word, Peli. I won’t go into the details of what I have been going through, but it has to do with the Lord letting me know I am “lukewarm”, fear of hell and terrible dreams. There was a headline on Spirit Daily about what some teens had supposedly experienced in hell which didn’t help things. (It has since been removed and replaced with a synopsis of the experience.) I was so relieved to see the word from the Lord Sirach 11:14 God is in control of everything, including evil, death and poverty. What relief!!! Jesus I trust in you!!

    Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall not fear. Thy rod and thy staff comfort me.You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever. (Psalm 23: 4-6).

  21. vjcon 30 Sep 2010 at 4:55 pm

    I have been following this blog for a number of months, and have drawn much comfort and enlightenment from all of your postings. I am grateful.
    This evening, from Laura S., the words “…if we offer back to God what the evil one is trying to use to distract us…for the salvation of souls, the evil one will stop, because he hates to be used for the salvation of souls for Jesus…” jumped off the page. I want to confirm from my own experiences that I believe this to be not only true, but that “offering it up” is perhaps a particularly powerful weapon for these times. A weapon that Our Lord designs from our individual circumstances and specific spiritual sufferings for our individual use in attacking the enemy in a specific way on behalf of someone else whose struggles are not unlike our own, and who would benefit from intercessory prayer.
    For example, about a year ago, my daughter, informed me that she had no intention of having her two year old and her new baby baptized, as their first child had been. Her reason was that she and my son-in-law had turned their backs on the Catholic Church, and were attending a Unitarian church. As newly “self-defined pagans”, that is where they felt welcome. To say that my heart broke at this news is an understatement. To say that I feared for their eternal souls is beyond understatement. I believe that as I prayed for them the day my daughter broke her news, the Holy Spirit prompted me to accept this cross, and to offer all my distress over the situation to Our Lord for the benefit of some other mother with straying children in particular, and in general for souls to convert from darkness. This I did, but also informed the enemy, out loud so he could hear my voice proclaim it, that everytime he used what my daughter and son-in-law are involved in to attack me, I would accept the taunt and consider it a prayer for conversion of souls. Immediately, I was wrapped in a deep peace, and have not been troubled or fearful for them since, though I continue to pray for their conversions–and for the conversions of others who have walked down the same dark path.
    I use the “offering it up” formula as though I were a sniper attacking a specific enemy in a specific place with a specific weapon–if that makes sense. I also pray for the release of souls in Purgatory who, while alive, may have suffered some of the sme trials I am undergoing, or who wrestled with the same temptations as those for whom I pray…

  22. Marianneon 30 Sep 2010 at 5:16 pm

    Just saw this on Spirit Daily – seems really important for our time and for not only America, but all of the world.

  23. Columbkilleon 30 Sep 2010 at 5:23 pm

    Let’s not forget that BC isn’t perfect, either. I have two sisters my mother conceived after being told she couldn’t have any more children and was also on the pill. (We were raised protestant, so there wasn’t an issue – I’m only sharing this to show that going on the pill is no guarantee).

    One of these sisters is now a very conservative Catholic, has followed a family planning method for years and is also a nurse. Recently she was telling me about something she’d been teaching as an alternative to BC. I’ll write her and ask what it is, and let you know.

  24. anneon 30 Sep 2010 at 6:38 pm

    Marianne, i do not know your circumstances and i hesitated saying this but now i will. when i turned 37 i had my fourth. my husband and i tried to have more but had miscarriages after this child was born. to be honest, i was disappointed i didnot have one or two in my fourties. live your life the best you can but IF you had another it would be GODS choice, so it would be what He wants. i tried for years after my fourth but only miscarriages so just trusT HIM.

  25. Theresaon 30 Sep 2010 at 7:46 pm

    Thank you Laura for your post. Your advice sounds really good. I hope you don’t mind but I copied your letter and sent it to both my daughters who should be using your method rather than the method they now use. Hopefully they will consider your suggestion and turn away from sinful methods. I had my youngest son when I was 41. A year before that I had a miscarriage. I too was really worried about getting pregnant again after that, but I had to have a hysterectomy 11 months after my last child because of problems that developed during his delivery. I felt guilty for that but 2 Drs. recommended it so I gave in. I wish I had had the Ladycomp. I would have felt much better at that time if I had. Please pray for my daughters to use this method! God bless all of you who post to this blog!

  26. pelianitoon 30 Sep 2010 at 8:37 pm

    vjc, welcome! Thanks for stepping out!

    I have also felt this very strongly. My mother always told us to “offer it up!” when we complained about something. We hated hearing that as children because what we really wanted was sympathy and a cookie. But now I realize what a profound lesson it was–one that is sadly not taught much in our day. Spiritual warfare at its simplest, so simple even children can learn it.

  27. Andreaon 01 Oct 2010 at 9:29 pm

    I have only commented once before on your site, but I am a weekly reader of your posts and had to comment on the thread of being open to life. I myself am 41 and have 5 children and would love to have another one. I find it troubling that even among those practicing NFP in accordance to the church, there is a GREAT FEAR in having more children.

    The Lord has commanded us to be fruitful and multiply and subdue the earth and has also told us that children are a blessing so why so much fear regarding having one more child? I think that the devil has inverted the truth. He has convinced people that children are a burden, that children are inconvinent, and that children will get in the way of the type of life a woman could have if she says yes to LIFE. What if we surrender this feeling of wanting to be in CONTROL of our fertility and lay at at the feet of JESUS and ask him to take over and decide for us? If we could see his plan for marriage and the gift that he is trying to give us we could receive his peace….We could join in the FIAT of the Blessed Mother and say as she did ” Let it be done unto me according to thy will”… “Love has no room for fear. And since fear has to do with punishment, love is not yet perfect in one who is afraid.” 1 John 5:18

    Our society has it ALL wrong because children are a blessing and they bring joy and laughter and most of all they reveal the great LOVE that the Lord has for us. That the Lord would allow us (husband and wife ) to be co-creators with him in bringing new life into the world is an amazing blessing.

    I do not write this post as a condemnation towards those who have been honest and expressed fear towards their fertility, but I express heart felt sympathy that we must live in a world where people scowl at our children and say “Are those ALL your kids?”My prayers are lifted to the women on this site and in the world that are struggling with the fear of being open to life and that the Lord who casts out all fear will reign in your hearts. I pray that instead of encouraging each other to say “X” amount of children is enough that we would encourage eachother to say”be open to the blessing of one more child.” Let us allow God to reign and to show us that his plan is always better than what we think that we can handle. When I say let God reign I say this because my last pregnancy was difficult physically. Plus my 5 child was born 6 weeks before my husband left for Iraq. Many secular friends asked if we “planned it” that way for they thought it a crazy idea to have a new born during a deployment while caring for 4 other children. I was happy to be having another child and I must say that after spending the last 10 months alone with 5 children 8 and under I have been MOST blessed by my 5th child. The Lord gave me a very easygoing infant that has helped me deal with my husband being gone and I have had more LOVE and JOY from this infant than I could have imagined. Those secular friends who think it crazy that my husband and I would be open to life when we knew he might be deployed don’t realize the gift that the Lord has given us during this very stressful seperation. The Lord always knows what is best for us, but we have to give him permission to act because he wants us to have the free will to choose him and his plan for us. I am so glad he knows what is best and my fear disappears when I surrender just as Blessed Mother did.

    Again may the peace of Christ be on all my sisters in the world who are suffering from the fear of one more beautiful child. May the Lord heal you and bring you into the embrace of his perfect love.

  28. pelianitoon 01 Oct 2010 at 10:09 pm

    Thank you Andrea for this beautiful testimony. I work on a military base so I see how difficult it is to have a loved one deployed. So many do it without faith and that makes it so much harder! We have to pray for them.

    I also wanted to mention that this is a very limited means of communication. We are getting bits of snippets of thoughts in a comment. We also don’t get the body language and we don’t know the backstory. I appreciate the gentleness with which people are responding here. It is fine to disagree, or to correct, but always with gentleness and love. In one message in 2004 I felt the Lord say this, and I never forgot it: “Beloved, hear me. Speak the truth with love and courage when the opportunity to correct your brothers and sisters presents itself. Ask our Mother to guide you in this, she whose rebukes were as gentle as a caress.” God bless you all.

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