May 28 2011

I come to make all things new; the old must be torn down so the new may be rebuilt…

Published by at 11:04 pm under Divine Will,Grace,Hope,Joy,Kingdom,Prayer,Trust

Joel 4:16 The LORD roars from Zion, and from Jerusalem raises his voice; The heavens and the earth quake, but the LORD is a refuge to his people, a stronghold to the men of Israel.

“Beloved, do not image that I have abandoned my people. I come to make all things new; the old must be torn down so the new may be rebuilt. My beloved ones, do not be afraid, but remain in my joy, for the hour of triumph is near. Many souls longed to see what you will see, and they are praying fervently for you, that your faith may not fail, but that you will be strengthened for the battle that lies ahead. With so many saints and angels praying for you, how can you doubt that the gifts you need will be there when you need them? Do not judge yourselves by the way your are today. You have grace today for today’s needs; tomorrow’s grace will come tomorrow. Trust in me and be at peace, dear children. I am near–as near to you as your own breath.”

Jesus I trust in you. I believe in your providential grace, and trust in your goodness. I offer thanks to the Gloriana* for their prayers and their love. What riches are ours in the communion of heaven! Jesus, my hope, trust, and joy are in you. All praise and thanks to God. Alleluia! Amen.

(*Gloriana: The angels and saints in perfect communion with the Blessed Trinity; the perfect unity of heaven.)

33 responses so far

33 Responses to “I come to make all things new; the old must be torn down so the new may be rebuilt…”

  1. anneon 28 May 2011 at 11:59 pm

    come Lord Jesus and come quickly. Pour out Your graces on all people so they will respond to YOUR LOVE. make ready the hearts for the coming new age of LOVE.
    Nancy i read the article on Zenit, the popes call to prayer. IT IS EXCELLENT. i recommend it to all.

  2. ajon 29 May 2011 at 12:37 am

    Maranatha- Come LORD JESUS.

    JESUS I Trust in YOU! Save souls. MARY MOTHER pray for us who have recourse to THEE.

  3. mariuson 29 May 2011 at 2:29 am

    I don’t understand…If You are so close as You say you are,why do I feel abandoned by You,why are You silent toward me,why do I feel that You cursed me? You are my Lord….Why do you reject my prayers?

  4. Siobhanon 29 May 2011 at 5:36 am

    Thank you, King of Heaven! Please forgive us our sins, and despite them, let us never forget that you will always love us. Let us never forget that the entire court of Heaven stands ready to defeat the puny army of the evil one. Please open the hearts and minds of our love ones to see the truth and grant them salvation. Please restore our nations to your grace and remake them in your image. Thank you for the Glorious age that approaches! Whether we live to see it or die as martyrs, we will share in your triumph.

  5. annon 29 May 2011 at 7:47 am

    What a wonderful message to read just before leaving for Mass this morning. I especially am thankful for the assurance that the angels and saints are praying fervently for us and that we must not judge ourselves by what we are today. It reminds me of Corrie Ten Boom’s father explaining that when she was little he would only give her the train ticket right before she got on the train and not before, and he assured her that’s how God’s grace works, too. He gives it to us just at the moment we need it. It’s so tempting to be somber, so it’s good to be reminded we must live in Christ’s joy. Thank you Peli for recording this message for us, for being willing to receive it. Thanks be to our Lord for giving us such encouragement. I take all of you to Mass with me this morning.

  6. pelianitoon 29 May 2011 at 9:01 am

    Marius, God is never closer to us than when we feel abandoned by him. It is your suffering that will bring about the conversion of those you are praying for. The farther they are from God, the greater will be your suffering. Thank the Lord for it, for he is working a great work in you and through you. Praise him in all times and places, for he is near to you whether you feel him or not. The greatest saints suffered abandonment. You are on the cross with Christ: “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” Rejoice dear brother. Miracles will be won through your dark night of the soul.

  7. mariuson 29 May 2011 at 11:36 am

    Pelianito,do you think that Jesus suffered the Passion for Judas salvation too? Don’t think so…I’m tired of all this…

  8. pelianitoon 29 May 2011 at 12:30 pm

    Marius, Jesus suffered for all sinners, but each one has the right of final rejection of his mercy. Our prayers and sacrifices water the stony ground of their hearts so that some day they may be more inclined to return to him. The final decision is theirs however. Please speak to a priest and take their advice even if it seems unpalatable. Perhaps the priest will tell you it’s time to let go and move on. If there is no joy in what you are enduring–a joy that comes from God–perhaps your suffering is not from God. Please see a priest and listen to him as to the Lord. We will keep you in prayer.

  9. jonion 29 May 2011 at 2:34 pm

    How I needed to hear these words of love and encouragement! Help me to endure to the end Jesus and never let me stop trusting that You are so very close . Peli never doubt the importance of bringing these messages to us, they are like a drink of cold water to a parched throat in the desert. Life saving!

    Iam holding you all in my prayers dear brothers and sisters , please keep me in yours. My husband came to Mass with my daughter and myself today and joined in all the responses.(He is not a Catholic!) Please God this is the start of a deepening relationship for him with God. He used to come with me but his father died suddenly without him making it to see him.I realised that he had stopped going with me to church because he was angry with God. I think he felt that surely if there was a God he would have let him see his dad before he died. Unfortunately his mother didn’t realise how poorly he was and didn’t stress enough for my husband to visit and it also coincided with a overseas business trip as well , so it was an unfortunate set of circumstances, which was truly upsetting for him. I hope and pray this is a turning point for him and us as a family.

    Oh Jesus I trust in You!

  10. Juliaon 29 May 2011 at 3:29 pm

    Marius
    Jesus suffered and died for every soul that ever was created by God.
    That includes Judas the traitor and St Peter.

    The example for us all is, Saint Peter repented and said how sorry he was for betraying Jesus at the time of Jesus passion. Saint Peter believed Our Lord would forgive him. Why He even made a saint of Peter.

    Poor Judas could not believe Our Lord would forgive him for the betrayel. Judas therefore gave in to despair and went and hung himself. God preserve us and keep us in the mindset of Saint Peter.

  11. the phoenixon 29 May 2011 at 4:58 pm

    These words come as my best friend, a suffering soul and one who prays, was admitted to a nursing home today. She is taking a brave and cheerful approach to this new phase of her life. I’ve told her she can do much good from where she is, and that I think she can serve as a witness to many people. Her old life is now torn down, her new life will be rebuilt in this new set of circumstances.

  12. Mary Thereseon 29 May 2011 at 5:27 pm

    Lord, help us to remember that You are in control.

    That means that we turn off the volume on anything, including our mind, that keeps us from watching and praying. Too often we give our opinions to situations, when with one pencil stroke of the Almighty or one gentle Breath of God, all that was lost is once again found, all that was evil is changed and restored to You. Too often we think that we have just the right idea, solution, opinion, when You just need us to watch and pray for others. Too often a quick change does not happen, be it for individuals or groups… We judge and then we let the hairy legged creature speak to us.

    We have no right to allow our opinion to get in Your Way! Help us to realize and react accordingly… You are the General, we are merely your footsoldiers… Help us to remember that!

  13. Jeanon 29 May 2011 at 7:11 pm

    Pelianito, You have no idea how much your words to Marius helped me just now: “Please speak to a priest and take their advice even if it seems unpalatable. Perhaps the priest will tell you it’s time to let go and move on. If there is no joy in what you are enduring–a joy that comes from God–perhaps your suffering is not from God. Please see a priest and listen to him as to the Lord.”

    I just spoke to a Priest a few days ago about a long-term relationship in which there were re-occurring problems that seemed unresolvable. He said precisely that, ‘it is time to move on’. And yet, I doubted if it was truly from the Lord because I didn’t want to believe it. Tonight, I was thinking I would ask another priest to see if I get the same answer. I was thinking, “Lord, you know I will be viewing the priest’s answers as coming from you, so if this (moving on) isnot your Will, let me know by what he answers”. Then a few minutes later, I read your comment to Marius which repeated exactly what the first priest told me to do!

  14. Mary Thereseon 29 May 2011 at 7:16 pm

    Marius,

    St. John Vianney was greatly troubled when a priest that was degrading and cruel to him was removed from his parish after being there to “help” him for 8 years. He felt that because his “trial” was no longer there, that this could very well be a sign that God no longer loved him… This was certainly untrue.

    Another recent saint once asked Jesus why she had to suffer so. Our Lord told her that He gives His greatest burdens to those He loves the most. She replied, as only the great saints can, “No wonder You have so few friends!”

    Also, Pope Benedict XVI has said during his pontificate that we are unsure of where Judas Iscariot is. Christ never said that he went to hell. When Our Lord said that it would have been better if he had never been born, it is possible that a stillbirth or some such prebirth death would have been better for him. He would never have had the reputation throughout eternity for having betrayed Our Lord; and he never would have despaired instead of repenting and evangelizing for Jesus.

    You are being very successful, my brother, or you would not be bothered so by the enemy of your soul. His aim is to destroy not only your family, but you as well… Keep your eyes fixed on Jesus and Our Mother… Stay in the Ark of the Covenant!

  15. Marianneon 29 May 2011 at 7:59 pm

    Marius – we are all here for you! You have a family here that can give you encouragement and guidance. When things get really bad, try to remember to offer it all for the conversions of souls! You are probably saving so many! They will know your sacrifice one day and thank you. More than that, you are making our Lord so happy by your sacrifice. I will remember you in Adoration.

  16. Michael Patrickon 29 May 2011 at 10:07 pm

    When we are finally united in Heaven, we will be able to communicate and understand one another perfectly. For now we struggle, but I don’t take that for a prompt from God to stop trying. I find it unlikely that anything shared here is done so with a lack of charity and it is in the spirit of charity that I am thankful for this great fellowship in Christ. Faith is such an immense gift, but what good is it without reason and intellect? They are also gifts of great value, to be used as Our Lord calls us to use them, and in conjunction with our faith. Everyone must discern his/her own calling from God and endeavor to turn a profit with the ‘talents’ they are given.

    Whether I agree with all postings and thoughts here or not, I choose to be thankful for this great gift of sharing our Faith for as long as it lasts. It might be silent soon enough. Let all hearts united in Christ give what they have to give.

    I’m edified by everyone’s sharings, and not being too set in my ways I often profit from the advice and wisdom of others here.

    Marius, I’m inspired by your faith and endurance. I’ve always fancied myself an athlete, but you’re helping me set the new standard in becoming a real spiritual athlete. I guess we’ll just have to all carry eachother over the finish line if necessary. Whatever it takes to finish the race.

    Jesus, we trust in You!

  17. Edith (Australia)on 29 May 2011 at 10:27 pm

    Dear Peli,

    Can I make the recommendation to Marius, and any other of your readers who may be interested, to refer to the 5-volume work of Maria Valtorta: “The Poem of the Man-God” which so clearly depicts the ongoing drama of the relationship between Our Lord and Judas Iscariot. It shows how hard Our Lord tried to do all he could out of His great love for Judas to save him, and bring him back into the fold. He patiently explained His mission to Judas many times, (when the other apostles would so often lose patience with Judas) but somehow Judas was never able to give up on the idea of earthly glory. Judas had a difficult and also jealous nature. Our Lord rejoiced in those moments when in answer to His Own prayers, He would see some signs in Judas of understanding and even moments of humility – however these ‘better’ moments didn’t last long as Judas was not consistent and did not persevere. According to Valtorta’s account, Our Lord prayed, suffered and fasted for Judas’ conversion, and even allowed Judas to spend some time with Mary in Nazareth who Herself hoped that this would assist Judas. But Judas used every situation to further his own cause, which he always placed ahead of Our Lord’s cause, and one sees the clear downward slide on the slippery slope of pride, jealousy, lust, covetnouness and ambition that bring Judas undone. However one also sees that Our Lord spared no effort to try to save Judas. This is what causes Our Lord’s geatest suffering – that souls refuse His great love towards them. Hope this helps.

    For more on Maria Valtorta’s writings, there are some explanations and samples at: http://www.valtorta.org.au/

    (Note from Pelianito: There is some controversy surrounding this body of work. You can read about the controversy here and here. It may assist in your discernment.)

  18. anneon 30 May 2011 at 1:54 am

    Thank you to Pel, as i am in a similar position to Marius. Please everyone keep me in prayer as it is so intense at present and only JESUS will sort this out. i truly need prayer and i am praying too that ALL of us here and in my family will have a NEW HEART. i believe that is what it is all about.
    we need Heart Transplants. i am praying my husband will SEE and realize Gods Love for him.

  19. ajon 30 May 2011 at 2:49 am

    Brother Marius, GOD’S Love and Grace is like a heavy pouring rain over us, drenching our souls. When we sin we open an umbrella in this rain of Love and Grace. Initially, we remain wet under the umbrella, but if we continue to persevere in sinfulness, then eventually we become so dry that there is no effect of the rain (Grace). It remains ever present around us but we deflect it’s effects. GOD’S Love never abandons us my brother, we just need to take down the umbrella we’ve opened, and the easiest way to do that is through Confession.

    My brother go to this wonderful Sacrament, Confession. Go as many times as you must and trust me, healing will come…I speak as one who was frustrated with myself for going to confess over and over and over without any seeming progress, until I realised that I had indeed stop confessing the same sins that held me bondage. The Sacrament heals!

    The one thing you must not do my friend is lose Hope. Repeat often, even when you feel most dry…JESUS I Trust in YOU. The enemy wants you to believe GOD’S Love is so far off that it’s un-reachable. Just stretch out your hand from under the umbrella and there within your reach the Love of GOD pours down in abundance.

    JESUS we Trust in YOU, save souls.
    You are not alone dear brother! You are part of us and we you, making up the one BODY OF CHRIST.
    Shalom.

  20. pelianitoon 30 May 2011 at 7:28 am

    Jean, we will pray for continued discernment into the Father’s will.

  21. pelianitoon 30 May 2011 at 7:31 am

    Anne, this sounds like you have been spending time on John Connelly’s site. He speaks of a new heart to replace our stony heart. I have been to a retreat that he facilitated. It definitely renewed my heart!

  22. Rosemaryon 30 May 2011 at 8:05 am

    Dear Marius,

    I can only imagine that the little we know from your posts are truly just a glimpse of the pain you feel in the depths of your soul. I don’t know if my words will give you any relief, but if nothing else, I wanted you to know your are not alone in your suffering.

    Your situation (from the little i’ve read) seems all too familiar to me, with one exception: I am embarking on my 8th year of this tormentorous journey. Many good and beautiful souls offer advice (who’s hearts are all in the right place) but little comfort is gained. There are times when I feel Jesus, Mary and Joseph so incredibly close and then there are feeling of utter abandonment. Abandonment so incredibly palpable that at one point I almost ended my life. Abandonment so palpable that I would take Cancer over the sufferings I’m enduring. Yet – to say that opening, especially to someone who’s health is failing, the usual response is to…”count your blessings.” They are right, to an extent, but if one truly believes that we all have our individual crosses, tailored especially to us, then how can anyone make judgements as to the degree of suffering from the outside. I have done everything in my power over the past several years. I have spoken to several priests and holy prophets of our day. I went to one priest during a break down, who gave me all of 2 seconds before walking away to speak with a woman in a fur coat. I went to a healing mass whose guest speaker had a near death experience and now spends her life in a healing ministry – who Prophesied something I didn’t want to hear. I was distraught and got back into line to speak with her at which point she was extremely curt and made things worse for me. On the other hand, I was at a spiritual warfare retreat, and a holy man whose has dedicated his life to God and Padre Pio – prayed in tongues over me and told me my prayers were answered and the suffering would finally be over “soon.” I asked our Lady for a sign – I had a rosary from Medjugorje that was blessed and asked our most merciful Mother to let it turn gold if my prayers specifically were answered – I now have a rosary with 4-6 links that are gold and the rest of it is as silver as can be. I go to confession on a regular basis – several priests have told me to “let go.” Others told me to preserve in prayer. In Lectio I’ve gotten the story of the Judge and the old women who “never gave up” so to speak and her prayer was given to her, etc.

    The bottom line – why I am telling you this – Is based on my experiences I know all too well what its like to be in total confusion. The feeling like you’re a gerbil running for your life on a wheel that never goes anywhere – and years of praying, healing masses, good works, confessions, retreats, fasting, rosaries, etc.. just seem to drop you off in the same place. Its discouraging, I know. To pray for “your will be done!” and if its your will for you/me to let go…then you need to help us change and let that happen. If it’s your will for us to persevere, then please give us the grace to continue. And if it’s your will to keep us in this state of despair permanently (even if its for suffering souls)…my human emotions think that’s just cruel, even thou spiritually I know it may being doing a lot of good.

    Marius – although everyone here is in my prayers – I bring you especially to our blessed mother, because your plight hits so close to home for me. If nothing else, I hope and pray, that knowing you are not alone in your suffering will bring some consolation to you. You may ask Peli for my E-mail address if I can help you in any way, even to just talk to someone. My heart goes out to you, dear brother.

    On another note. I will be going to Medjugorje on June 6th with Michael Brown. I will bring everyones petitions with me. If any one else is going, I can’t wait to meet you. If anyone wants me to bring specific prayers – please post (if it’s ok with Peli).

    I was also notified that ABC newline will be with us filming a documentary on the Blessed Mother- I believe it will air June 22nd. I will post more when I have specifics.

    God bless everyone. XOXO

  23. Mary Thereseon 30 May 2011 at 8:07 am

    Open your heart wide–wide–to Your Lord and Savior. Close the doors to the outside world and go into the private room of your soul… That is where Jesus speaks to you. That you may go forth under His Instruction for your life. As MP is beginning to understand his role is changing, so must all of us…

    A somewhat strong message from a very gentle site–the italics are mine for emphasis:

    SHARON FITZPATRICK LOCUTIONIST
    WEDNESDAY, MAY 25, 2011

    MY DEAR, DEAR PRECIOUS LITTLE CHILDREN,

    I GREET YOU FROM MY HEAVENLY THRONE. I AM QUEEN OF HEAVEN AND EARTH. IT IS GOD WHO HAS ENTHRONED ME AND IT IS HE WHO MADE ME MOTHER TO ALL. I AM GRATEFUL
    AND HOLD MY MOTHERHOOD AS MOST DESIRABLE TO ME.

    LITTLE ONES, I SAY THIS TO YOU THAT YOU UNDERSTAND HOW IMPORTANT YOU ARE TO ME. JESUS CAME TO ME BY THE POWER OF THE HOLY SPIRIT AND THE LOVE I HAVE FOR HIM
    CANNOT BE COMPARED. YET YOU HAVE BEEN PLACED IN MY HEART WHERE YOU SHARE THIS MOST PURE AND BEAUTIFUL LOVE. CONSIDER THIS, PONDER THIS AND THEN THANK GOD FOR SUCH A POWERFUL BLESSING.

    DEAR CHILDREN, IN THE UPCOMING DAYS YOU WILL BE CALLED TO REMEMBER THIS AND DRAW STRENGTH AND COURAGE FROM IT. THE WORLD LOOKS AT YOU AS FOOLISH BUT IT IS
    THOSE OF THE WORLD THAT ARE FOOLISH. YOU WILL STAND BY THE GRACE OF GOD, WHEN OTHERS SHALL FALTER. YOU HAVE MUCH GRACE AND FROM THIS GRACE YOU WILL BE
    GIVEN WISDOM THAT SHALL SUSTAIN YOU.” DO NOT FEAR. I HAVE SAID THIS TO YOU OVER AND OVER. STILL THERE ARE THOSE WHO INSIST ON LIVING WITH ANXIETY AND UNENDING
    FEAR. IT IS NO LONGER ACCEPTABLE TO DO SO, BECAUSE YOU HAVE BEEN ASSURED BY THE QUEEN OF HEAVEN AND EARTH AND MOTHER OF ALL THAT IT IS NOT NECESSARY – YOU ARE WITH ME AND I HOLD YOU ALL IN THE REFUGE OF MY IMMACULATE HEART”. LISTEN TO THESE PETALS FROM HEAVEN.

    I GIVE TO YOU MY KISS, MY EMBRACE. THE BLESSING OF CHRIST COMES TO YOU FROM THE HEARTS OF THE PRIESTS AND THIS BLESSING COMES FROM THE HEART OF MY SON.

    PRAISE BE TO GOD NOW AND FOREVER. PRAISE AND THANK HIM, DEAR ONES, FOR HIS LOVE AND GENEROSITY TOWARD YOU.

    http://www.petalsfromheaven.com/

  24. Catheon 30 May 2011 at 11:07 am

    In the early days of my conversion, I learned a very very valuable lesson in suffering. I was suffering horribly with blinding headaches day in and day out for months. I don’t know why I didn’t see a doctor, I guess I didn’t think they could do anything for me. One day I was deep in prayer before the Crucifix when my headache returned with a vengance. After a while, I placed my head in my hands and begged God to remove the pain. I was so surprised when suddenly the pain was totally gone. It never reoccurred again. It was shortly after that experience that I read about offering our pains and sufferings to God in union with the Passion of Jesus for whatever intention was to be offered up for another soul or a situation. I realized, through an inner knowing, that God had shown me that He is merciful and will grant whatever we ask in the Name of Jesus. However, He also showed me that the pain I had endured was His gift to me and to others. We will never fully understand the Gift of Pain. It is very difficult to be in a constant painful situation or illness but when we offer it up it changes into a purpose or mission and we are given strength in union with Jesus to endure. The only way I have been able to endure the painful episodes in my life is to receive the Eucharist daily and/or Adoration and constant prayer.

    I also believe that we should always ask to be healed. Just like Jesus in Gesthemaine asked God to remove the Cup. But He also surrendered His Will to the Father.

    I am so sorry you are suffering Marius. Our Lord is suffering even more because His Heart sorrows at seeing you or any of His creatures in pain even though it is for another soul. Discouragement and wanting to walk way is another dimension to our pain…this too is what Jesus suffered in Gesthemaine. Jesus knows what you are going through and is walking this journey with you. Jesus shed tears so show us that it’s ok to share our pain with others. Be brave in our Lord’s great love for you.

    I hold you in my prayers.

  25. mariuson 30 May 2011 at 12:50 pm

    I know that Your ways are straight,I know that what is hapening now to me,I deserve it and I’m paying for what I’ve done before.But I really ,really tried these last years to convince You not to take away from me the only thing I need to survive….love.Maybe I don’t deseve it,but for the sake of those two angels,I thought You would have mercy on us. You know very well that is nothing left for me to live for on this Earth,You know that from now on the gate to hell is wide open for me,so why are You ignoring my prayers to end this life before my soul gets lost in abyss?Just tell me one thing that I didn’t do to try to change Your mind in these last years.But I tell You now : even when I’ll go down thru the gate of hell,I’ll still shout out loud that you are the true God,and you are just in your ways.

  26. June1on 30 May 2011 at 1:27 pm

    I’m so glad I am not alone in feeling that family is far from Christ, that we can sometimes feel abandoned by God and that when the Lord gives us trials, it’s hard to see that they’re for our good; sometimes nearly impossible to see it.

    A couple of weeks ago, my husband and I had a huge fight. While I heard him calling me names in the other room, I suddenly had this thought come out of NOWHERE: Thank you, Lord. I was like… WHAT? Jesus, you want me to thank You for enduring this misery at this moment? Lord, I don’t understand. What do you want me to take away from this moment?

    Now, I’m pretty sure it wasn’t me giving thanks, but I think that was the attitude the Lord wanted me to have. Maybe He was letting me know that He was right there with us, even as we attacked each other? Maybe this ties into what Mary Therese said about how those whom God loves most (not that He should have any reason to love me more than someone else) are the ones that receive the most pain? I’m not sure still, but I do know it wasn’t my voice in my head. Lord, hold me and never let me go. I need You and I love You, even if I don’t understand it.

    Oh, and if you guys are curious, hubby and I were fine the next day. It must be the Lord that helps us bounce back from this kind of stuff. If it weren’t for Him, I probably would have left by now and wouldn’t have opportunities to see/feel/hear Him.

  27. TSon 30 May 2011 at 2:52 pm

    WOW. Thank you Jesus, for this amazing confirmation!

    I have posted a few times here but have been reading the prophecies for a while. This one almost knocked me to the ground. I will have to bookmark this because it answered and confirmed so much of what I have been struggling with. Not just the prophecy itself but in conversation between Marius and Pelianito.

    “Many souls longed to see what you will see, and they are praying fervently for you, that your faith may not fail, but that you will be strengthened for the battle that lies ahead. With so many saints and angels praying for you, how can you doubt that the gifts you need will be there when you need them?”…

    I assume the above means we will see and live in the era of peace. I have recurring doubts that I will have the grace to deal with the events that will preceed the era of peace (assuming that I am chosen to live in it). I too often forget that the Spirit will provide what is needed at the time it is needed. One of the evil one’s tactics on me is doubt. I get hit with doubts about everything, both the spiritual and material.

    Even with all the Lord has revealed to me in experiences since my re-conversion, I let the doubt creep in. Sometimes the temptation to “live my life and just have fun like everyone else” becomes so strong. I used to be “everyone else” until I was knocked off my block and set straight in Christ. I still get tempted that there is no God and that I am wasting my time by praying and making sacrifices, going to Mass every day and sitting in the Adoration chapel. I somehow endure.

    Now about suffering…

    I often feel that the Lord is telling me to suffer for souls. I can easily tell the difference between spiritual suffering and emotional suffering.

    When I feel spiritual suffering, these are some examples of what I feel like:
    - a heaviness around my chest area
    - the sins of others, especially those close to me, come alive to me and cause me great distress. I feel sorrow for them and for those who are affected. I am talking about sins that are in the open and unrepented sin that my loved ones live obstinately in.
    - I feel the pain of those being hurt, both directly and undirectly from that sin. EG. This is like empathy, but it hurts very deeply. It is though I am the person who is directly being sinned against but I know that it is not me. Strange.
    - I am aware of how painful it would be to be without God for eternity (hell). It pains me to see that most people who are enslaved to sin do not realize that they risk being apart from God forever. It is like I am enduring what they should be.
    - I often lack the ability to lose myself in a moment. An example would be that in a gathering of friends or family, while a party may be going on, I am next to everyone but do not feel connected to what people are talking about. Instead, I am thinking about the souls of those who are present. I feel the need to pray silently. Sometimes I feel the need to pray for someone there and can’t stop contemplating the state of their soul. I often think that I am judgeing at this point. I am still confused about this. I get very ‘heavy’ feelings around certain people and this is what I use as a trigger to pray.
    - I see almost everything in the sense of eternity. Every little sin will have to be accounted for and brings us further from where we need to be spiritually. This means that very little things that most people take for granted, I will recognize the eternal in it. So many times I have spoken up or admonished someone and then been told to ‘lighten up’ or have to endure the looks of others who think that I have lost my mind. Sin is sin, period. While others joke around like nothing is going on, I am left with a sense of wrongdoing.
    - Sometimes I feel emotional depression or anxiety (for no apparant reason) that I know will go away. I know I have to live through it. It eventually lifts (and all at once) and then I feel a sense of relief or accomplishment.

    The 1st few years after my re-conversion, I felt all this for my own past life of sin. It seems to have shifted to other people. This all started off slow and has escalated. The degree to which I am aware of all of this has increased as well. Could it be that I was given a chance to expiate some of the temporal punishment of the sins of my past? Is God using my feelings of these other people to help them or someone else expiate temporal punishment or will this be used as graces of conversion? I wish I knew for certain.

    Of course, the degree of the above feelings varies from time to time. At its worst, I feel immobilized and despaired. This degree is rare though. Usually it is all very managable and I can live day to day through it, without it affecting the people in my life. It is something that is just “there”. Sometimes, I have periods of total joy in the Lord. In my morning offering, I offer the days sufferings to Jesus through Mary. I am reminded during the day as to why I feel this and it helps. It is the doubts that make it hard to bear. I need to vanquish the doubts.

    After my conversion, I told the Lord that I wanted to help save souls and felt as though I am supposed to be a victim soul. Sometimes I feel discouraged and that I can’t take it anymore. Sometimes I even ask the Lord to lift it, but then I feel as though I am being encouraged and to keep fighting. I then realize what it is God wants to accomplish with my fiat and this brings me joy. Peli said that there should be a joy in this suffering. Joy in suffering! Only in God could this be possible. What a confirmation.

    I am really torn over this. Sometimes I feel as though I am helping save souls and other times I feel that I may need psychological councilling. Can anyone else who thinks they may endure this type of sufering share what it is they feel? This will really help me discern on what it is I am supposed to do with all this.

    Lord Jesus, help me to trust that those who seek You and live in Your commandments will have the grace to follow You and help convert others at all costs. AMEN.

  28. pelianitoon 30 May 2011 at 4:29 pm

    Rosemary and Marius, we can only pray that the Lord will somehow give you peace, hope, and joy. Our words fall flat, perhaps our prayers will bear fruit.

    Thank you Rosemary for bringing our prayers to the Blessed Mother in Medjugorje. What a gift that will be! To facilitate this I will create a temporary page on the left called Medjugorje prayers.

  29. pelianitoon 30 May 2011 at 4:46 pm

    TS, if you have offered to be a victim soul, then I suspect this is what it would look like. However, you should speak to a priest about it. We here are not spiritual directors and we should not get into that role. We can give our opinions, but being a spiritual director is beyond the scope of this blog. We are companions on the journey, nothing more. The Holy Father has recently spoken on the importance of spiritual direction. It was reported on by Zenit in this article.

  30. Mary Thereseon 30 May 2011 at 5:35 pm

    I was with a great Franciscan at many of his Masses a number of years ago. He directed me and my family to do a healing of the family tree, which helped us immensely. He traveled throughout our area with me one day, cleansing different spots where plentiful accidents occurred–most deadly. He said that there were many Indian battlegrounds in our area and he was cleaning many of them up around different spots in Central New York…

    He taught me how to bind spirits that day. I have not seen anything on this site like this, and it has come to me lately to teach it to you here.

    Three times repeat:

    “In the name of Jesus Christ, the Nazorean, I bind the spirit of (lust or whatever)”

    You can do this for yourself or another. Sometimes it will be many spirits that you will need to bind–one at a time. This priest had most, if not all of the Gifts of the Spirit and I believe that he also did exoricisms.

    I like to follow up the binding prayer with a prayer asking the Holy Spirit to fill to overflowing the person with the virtue or grace contrary to the problem…

  31. anneon 30 May 2011 at 5:53 pm

    Rosemary, yes please, take my petition. Pray for my family to re unite PLEASE.

  32. pelianitoon 30 May 2011 at 10:04 pm

    I think we have gotten off on a tangent here and have gotten into the realm of spiritual direction and problem-solving on a complex topic, so I am going to end the discussion. Let us continue to pray for one another. Jesus, Mary, Joseph, I love you. Save souls!

  33. Sandraon 31 May 2011 at 11:39 am

    This is such a message of hope and promise! The words “I come to make all things new” give me goosebumps!
    Thanks be to God! Alleluia!

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